Busy Update for Spring

There was some Easter kissing and tie-jewelery matching...

Admiration for living room framed photos at a book club friend's home...

A sweet orchid gift from a friend!  (notice mint green paneling above fireplace, it will change this month)...

Another DC temple trip...

Sam went to Mormon Prom (another tie matching dress example!)...

Roxie went to a bereavement camp for children 8-16...

Tying a note she wrote to Max onto a pink balloon she chose for him...

Standing with her camp buddy for the weekend:  1 counselor per child ratio.

Then more presentations, the youth told their favorite part of the camp (Roxie said riding the horses was the highlight) and love stones with a word the counselor noticed about the youth (Roxie's was strength) and then a word of hope for them and their future (Roxie's was Love)...

Beautiful, amazing program, good practical advice, good therapy, good new friends.

And my favorite:  monarch butterfly launch, each child presented with an envelope...

And a quick picture from wedding shower I hosted last weekend-notice the paneled wall, needed a different color to highlight the banner, so a quick pink coat.  Yes, I paint for parties.

Suzanna is a Missionary! And it is not all about me, this blog...

All photos from Sister Landbeck's companion's mom's blog!  They look like they get along well, smiley and  huggy.  Her companion is a twin, who is also learning Portuguese, but going to Brazil.

I wonder if Suzu can tell them apart?  Kind of cool that they are serving at the same time!

Things going well here.  I added more to the sobriety trees, some bright oranges that glow in the rainy weather we have been having.  As soon as the redbud blooms I will take more photos.

More shots in the back today that should help back pain, and I am doing the sleep study tonight.  No lotion, no hairspray, bring my pillow, but not John to hospital.  I have a horrible bruise on my hand from IV from last week's colonoscopy.  Busy round of tests and medical updating (nothing can make a mammogram a good experience, but I was thankful for it being shorter than I remembered...).  Emma turning a quarter of a century same year I make it to a half.  I am thankful for good medical attention and expertise. 

One of the nurses this morning asked how many children I have--answered her "six" and told her about Emma being a high school chemistry teacher, Stewart in college, Suzanna going to Portugal on a Church mission, Sam a firefighter & welder, and Roxie and her brilliance.  "That's five."

And about losing Max last summer to addiction consequences.  But bearing testimony simply that I am confident we will see family we have lost.  That was what the holiday last weekend was all about, what Easter means to me. 

As the nurse shuttled me out to the car in a wheelchair (hospital policy, I was walking fine) she told me how much she had enjoyed our time together this morning.  Little Gospel sharing moments.  She knows my religious preference (one of the standard questions). 

I CANNOT TAKE A NAP, trying to stay awake and busy so the sleep study tonight is accurate...or at least as much as I can make it.

Relationships

(Suzanna is doing well in the Missionary Training Center, from everything we read in her emails!)

I have a solo drug sobriety presentation to make today, 15 minutes.  Lots of thoughts rolling around my head, and I need to organize them.

When John and I speak together, one of my favorite things he says is that using drugs hurts your relationships.  Losing trust, alienating you from each other, the distance, the pain, the fights.  Head butting.  Trying to persuade each other to change (Max did try to get us parents to get high with him so we would understand how he felt.)

I wish I knew, really knew, why our son was so susceptible to drug use.  Why did he get involved in them?  What could we have done to protect him more?  How could we have given him more information or help to resist the offer to use?

Scare tactics?  Exposing him to the consequences?

How do some kids make it through high school unharmed and safe?  With brain cells and health intact?  The stereotype--and the joke in films, sitcoms and computer memes, is an introverted, nerdy, no-friend, uncool, naive, socially awkward, boring, clue-less dressing sad virgin NEVER drinks or gets high.  And the opposite:  cool, popular, edgy, fun-loving, relaxed, world-wise, great clothes, good jokes, all the money they need and gets high and drinks but never gets caught, never endangers their friends, smokes a little pot to have more fun at a party, gets all the love-action they want...

I just spent an hour looking through drug humor memes.  Very depressing.

"What does pot give you?" ask the interviewer.
"I become more aware of how beautiful everything is," replies the movie star.
"And what do drugs take away?"
"Using drugs gets rid of the boredom, lonliness, pain..."

"Remember kids, if a stranger offers you drugs...say 'thank you' because drugs are very expensive."

This is the world we live in.

I remember Max's drug use made it hard to trust him.  Hard to believe if he was telling the truth or not.  He lied, he was sneaky, he told us he quit when he really just got better at hiding his use.  He stole grocery money to buy drugs.

Two weeks ago a PTA mom asked me what I wish I had done differently, in hind sight.  I told her I wish I had been tougher right at the beginning and called the cops and turned him in to the system, scared him, let him deal with the consequences when he was still 17 years old.  I wish I hadn't tried to protect him.

Would it have damaged our relationship? 

His making bad choices didn't make him a bad person, but what he was doing was wrong.  Illegal.  Scary.

John:  no matter how poorly you have behaved or how much you have disappointed your family, or how cynical and hard to the world, remember you are precious and your life has value and should be protected.  The world is better with you in it.

I don't want to come off as scolding.  Or judgemental.

Talking to drug abuse strangers I have to be open, bold, honest.  Praying for that.