Comfort Eating Dangers

Four times now, that I know of, my husband has been served "tea" in rehab.  Before he was eating I talked to the dietician and pointed out that coffee and tea were not an option because of religious reasons.  I told her we are Mormons (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) and she said, "Oh, how about pork...?"

He has been suffering through the soft menu, eating it even without enjoying it.  Think squishy baby food, formed into fake "waffles" and patties.  Syrup and gravy are fine, but salt-less and he liberally uses the Mrs. Dash provided and all the pepper, trying to make things taste.  Pureed spinach and pureed broccoli and peas...no salad yet, nothing to chew or choke on.

I have mentioned my TEA CONCERN to the nurse, to another nurse, to the meal delivery girl. This morning I am putting a sign up, with copies to dietician, one on his door, by his bed, everywhere I can think!  As I was looking for a good quote from lds.org, I found this ENSIGN article, and was stunned.  Not sure how I missed it last October.

I am guilty.  Need to work on this.  Loved the insight.

Thanks to online South Carolina Traumatic Brain Injury manual

Understanding the Grieving Process

It is important to remember

that different people react differently to the grief they suffer over the loss

of the family member they once knew & loved; the one who was energetic and vital, who may have been the prime provider and support system for the family. Some individuals respond by involving themselves completely in the rehabilitation process of their family member. They deal with insurance companies, doctors, rehabilitation providers and government agencies. In a way this helps them gain some control over their situation. Others may not be able to come around for a while. They may bury themselves in other projects and with other responsibilities. These individuals will need time to reach a more comfortable level of accepting what has happened to them and their family member.

There is frequently a grieving process that one goes through when his or her family member suffers a head injury.

The process is often experienced in definable stages:

denial;

anger and frustration;

depression and withdrawal; and

acceptance

If your family member engages in constant verbalization about a concern of his, do not allow yourself to get trapped into worrying with him. One person is enough.

Unrealistic Expectations

It is often difficult to be realistic about what you can expect from your family member. These expectations also change as he makes changes. It would be wonderful to be optimistic about his progress and to will him to return to his old self, but realistically we know this seldom happens. Often, this type of optimism keeps us going. However, being overly optimistic, and not realistic, can be counterproductive, especially if it leads to setting goals you or your family member can't meet. It can give both of you a sense of failure, which is counterproductive to the rehabilitation process.  If possible, take the recovery period one day at a time without planning too far ahead. In essence, the right mixture is optimism tempered with a touch of realism.

Learning to Love Again

Unless your family member has had only a mild bump on the head (and sometimes even then), you will find that he is a somewhat different person from before. Now that he is coming home you may be fantasizing that he will be his "old self." You will be disappointed if you are expecting this, so do not set yourself up for this letdown.

As time goes by you will probably see changes indicating that your family member may never completely return to his original personality You may feel that you are living or sleeping with a stranger.

You will need time to adjust, so give yourself this opportunity If it is your spouse who is injured, you may need to seek professional help to assist both of you in redeveloping your relationship.

In trying to reshape your relationship with your family member, another issue you have to deal with is a change in family roles. You may have to adjust to the fact that your spouse is no longer the dominant one in the home or in the relationship. You may have to assume that role. You may also have to adjust

to the fact that he may not be as active or assertive as he was before his injury.

Learning to adjust to these changes and renewing your love for your partner can present a significant challenge.

Suggestions

Talk to him the way you used to.

Let him make as many decisions as possible.

Ask his opinion, even if it is not necessarily needed.

Take time to reestablish your relationship. 

This time is a learning process, and you will have to discover new things about your loved one.

The right side is really the LEFT side when looking at scan...

 

I am Grateful for Good People Who Listen & ACT on "Feelings"

This is Nurse Ashley, who saved John's life.  She left work late 2 weeks ago, went home a different way than she normally does, stopped when she saw the firetrucks at the accident, and she was the one who ran into the woods to John's car and intubated him, stayed with him while they worked for 20 minutes to extract him from the car (after they took care of 2 other cars).  Amazing fact that she works in Shock Trauma where they brought John.  She knew exactly what to do to help him on site.

How do you thank someone enough for doing such an amazing thing?

This is Nurse Asley & her husband.  She is holding the pink potholder I crocheted at the hospital & a Book of Mormon from me.  Friday morning John got a 10-11 on Glasgow Coma Scale.  Two weeks ago he was a 3 when they brought him in.  Still working on communicating by nods, gestures and guesses.

Miracles are happening.  His life was spared, and he is progressing rapidly, surprising the staff.  I am struggling to balance positive faith/hope against worry and reality/plans for future (while trying really hard to not freak out over medical bills).

On the way home from the hospital and after the good news that John is moving to REHAB already, I got a text offer for dinner.  It included fresh raspberry pie with ice cream, and yummy mini individual quiche and deconstructed guacamole salad (black beans, tomatoes, yellow peppers, avocado-chopped, not smashed, onions with 1/2 cup olive oil and 1/2 cup lime juice & lime zest, salt, pepper to taste, cayenne if you want).  Carolyn stayed for dinner, ate with us, which was perfect.

We have been blessed.