(graffiti in Belgium)
I subbed for kindergarten yesterday.
A substitute is either a fun sub or a mean one. Hard to be both. Last week, when I subbed for world history, my 17 year old gave me advice as we walked into the school.
"Don't be nice. Be a mean sub. That is the only way they will respect you."
He gave me a quick run-down of high school rules, which ones were most often broken.
I confiscated 3 phones that day during the movie. Put subtitles up (I like them--then you can read the murmurs in the background and understand how the names are spelled and what they are saying even if they have an accent). Some of the kids wanted them off, and I resisted. And I fast-forwarded the sex scene, and they complained. I was MEAN and righteous! It was great! I left the school condfident I could handle high school again.
That was last week.
Yesterday the job was half day. While the regular teacher was still putting papers in the kids mail slots and trying to leave I had begun to read the book for the day. All was going well. The kids were sitting in their spots on the carpet, listening as I read upside down so they could all see the pictures. (Underestimated skill, that.)
Then I notice the boy with his raised hand. Thinking he was going to add to the story, I called on him.
"There's a cricket under the teacher's chair"
Not the chair I was sitting on. I see the not-moving, dried out bug suspended by a cobweb under the chair by the teacher's desk, clearly in view of the carpet group. I grab a tissue, grab the bug, and throw it away.
"EWWWWWwwwwww" they chorused.
"There's a bug under that desk!"
"EWWWWWWWwwwww" much louder, as I grab the 2nd bug and dispose of it. Their regular teacher was just finishing up filing and she ducked out of the room.
Not a great way to start. Book reading continues, all is well until I send them back to their tables. Half the class gets up to sharpen suddenly stubby pencils, pushing and shoving each other to be first in line. We do math by connecting the dots to make "2" & "3" tracing the numbers and writing names at the top of the page.
I kept forgetting how young they are. When we finished math early, I had them turn their papers over and draw a birthday cake and enough candles for how old they are. They haven't learned how to make "5"s yet.
I tied 50 pairs of shoes! Twice!
Two girls went to the nurse and came back with ice. A boy bursts into tears when I moved his name clothespin to yellow light for talking during rest time after repeated warnings.
The boy who was already on yellow when I took over the class brought the sobbing boy a tissue.
I let "rest time" go an extra 8 minutes, because they had finally settled down (after drinks and mat issues).
I taught them "Popcorn Popping on the AP-PLE Tree" song while we were reviewing the weekly reader for the week. That was one of the good moments.
Would I do it again?
Yes. But those little kindergarten kids made my seminary students look really, really good this morning at 5:55am. And I told them so. How much I love them and appreciate their cooperation.
