Being United vs. Hard Working Independence

My husband is named after his family clan. Great Scots, the Stewarts! His height comes from a sea captain great great grandfather who settled in Baltimore. His coat of arms shows a mother bird ripping at her own flesh to feed hungry babies. Virescit Vulnere Virtus (Courage grows strong at a wound). Gruesome. On his mom's side, the Coffey family crest reads, "Not Prudent, but Victorious."

I am Scottish, too. Davidson clan, on my mother's side. I use this family heritage to describe my body-type: sturdy, narrow shouldered, weight-gain on my tummy, and easy pregnancies with strong sturdy babies.

It also describes my work-ethic: hard-working. We work until we are done, do not take breaks, but plow through and finish the job! Then we collapse! (and John says, "and then you are dead." He brings me drinks while I work, tries to distract me into resting. I tell him if I stop and rest, I won't start again, and he says maybe that is a good thing! My siblings and I have noticed this common theme in our adulthood. DebK, JohnB, LauraS, LuannaD, BeccaB, MichaelB--what about Steven? I think David knows how to rest better than most of us, but he gets incredible things done, too! He has figured out some pacing tricks that I admire.)

A heart-softening experience Saturday (in DC temple) made me re-think my speedy-do-it-faster-than-anyone-else (competitive?) weakness/strength of mine.

When it is not a race, being united is better! Staying with the group, not trying to out-shine them, working together has more strength. When one person pulls ahead, it makes others stumble. It is distracting, disheartening, irritating for those left behind trying to remain united. When we are united, we all win.

Four of my crew are injured. One on crutches from knee strain over-extending himself walking too much. One broke a nose working without watching where walking. One thought they had swine flu, but just over-extended and is exhausted. Another suffering leg strain and pains. Did I push them too fast? Did I drive them too hard in training, encouraging and putting expectations too high?

Yes, we want to finish the job, but to do it well, methodically, carefully. When we finish our census area, we are ALL out of a job, unless moved on to the next phase. So job security would encourage slowness, pacing ourselves, taking breaks, being thorough, careful. And yet top management is pushing for results, knowing there is a deadline.

Balance and unity. Be wise. Be careful. Be hard-working, but take care of yourself. I have yet to figure out the right proportions of work and rest. And I am convinced being united is more important. Working together, helping, team work, etc.

John has noticed that he thinks I enjoy being in charge, supervising this little army of workers. I have always felt that I preferred being in the ranks of workers--but I think that is the competitive side of me talking. I like being independent, knowing my job and just being able to work at my own feverish pace. The harder I work, the sooner I finish, the sooner I can rest and do what I want to (read, paint, quilt...)

Delegating is a different kind of work. Making sure everyone has enough to do and fairly distributing the hard areas and easy ones throughout the group isn't easy. Payroll is a nightmare. Forms and paperwork are tedious. Even getting phone calls and answering questions takes up time. I am less interruptable than I thought.