This is us a year ago...
Last weekend...
We want this to last and keep getting better.
I am grateful we met when we did. Grateful for our years of letter writing. Grateful his family was easy to love. Grateful that we didn't have "baggage" from previous exes (I still think it is funny when we run into a past girlfriend of John's living in the same county), grateful for how easy it is to feel loved and to completely trust and rely on him.
My boss is a very young widow, with lots of practical life advice. Work conversation today included the thought that the person who loves the other the least has the most amount of power in the relationship. Horrible thought, because it means if you care less than the other person, your whims will be met. You can set the boundaries. You can decide the time lines, the menu, the date activity. To keep from losing you, the other will capitulate. Cave in. Try desperately to please the less invested party.
I remember feeling reassured that John loved me, reciprocated my feelings. That I could reach out to him and know that his hand would be extended searching for mine. I knew it wouldn't be a lopsided relationship, and it was something I could commit to and keep for all of my existence. I am not going anywhere. I am not changing my mind/heart. He could depend on my decision to be his wife. I could depend on him as my husband.
We started out young and dumb and so full of convictions and determination. Now we are old and still clueless about many things. We have mellowed some (allowing Santa traditions, for one!) and worked out new traditions. But some things have remained constant: I know he will be faithful. I know he will keep his faith in God, keep praying (even when I am the weak one and pout and don't feel like it), going to Church, loving and parenting our children, working hard and knowing how to play energetically...He is good at reminding me to take breaks, rest, re-fuel. He is my best friend.
1 comment:
One good way to know whether of not to marry someone. To be equally yoked is important. You both have to be able to love each other 100% with all you are.
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